Facing the Next Day
by schoolgirl-cheesesculpture
Summary: Near goes out in the rain to forget his problems...Then HE comes out and ruins it all.....Or does he? Slight MelloXNear
1. Near's POV

Facing the Next Day

Just sitting there in the rain. That is what I was doing. Sitting in the rain letting the steady pounding of the drops wash away my fear, my pain and my anger. There in the rain, my clothes progressively getting soaked from the torrent of water pouring from the heavens. All the water running down my face and soaking my hair. Silently, I lay down next to the tree that has held so many memories for me some good, many bad. I close my eyes and lose myself in the sounds of the water hitting the ground and smelling the fresh scent of the warm concrete from the driveway soaking up the water. I could feel the water starting to chill my body, numbing my fingers and toes. Sighing, I went onto my side and curled up to preserve my body heat. Remembering why I came out here, I slowly started unfolding my body so that I could see the tree above me, its leaves glistening from all the rain. I was feeling the weight of my rain soaked clothes that seemed to be trying to pull me into the earth. Reaching out with my hands I felt the mud that I was lying on, moving it between my fingers. Satisfied knowing that my job was almost done, I laid my hands on my chest, took a deep breath of fresh, humid air and shut my eyes. Savouring the feel of the cold air, I slowly started letting go of conscious.

Right before I let myself go, I opened my eyes one last time and I saw the reason why I came out here in the first place. There he was standing over me, smirking like he owned the world.

As soon as he saw my eyes open he said "I see you're still alive. And I thought that the almighty Near wouldn't have had to take such drastic measures."

"Shut up." I turned my body so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"Touchy, just like always." I could feel him sit next to my cold, rain soaked body. "Although, that's why everyone _loves _Near. No one could stand to lose their precious Near."

"At least people care about me." I could feel the color starting to rise in my cheeks but I forced it down. I didn't want him to know I felt bad for him.

"What are you implying?" Even thought I couldn't see him, I could just as easily feel his eyes boring into my back.

"That no one cares about you, now go away. I want to be alone, that's why I came out here." Once again I hoped that luck would be on my side and he would just go away.

"Really? Are you saying that no one cares about me?" Once again I felt the pair of eyes on my back, demanding an answer.

"Yes." That was all I said willing him to leave me alone so I could be in peace.

"Are you sure..." his voice got softer "That no one cares?"

I turned around to look him in the eye. His eyebrows were knitted together with worry.

"Well...I guess." I took my eyes from his and sat up beside him.

"Not even you?" He put one of his arms around my shoulders, put my arm over his shoulder and then put one under my legs and lifted me up.

"Not even me." I whispered in his ear, shivering slightly from the chill.

"Well then, I guess since the almighty Nears word is law so we have to just continue at being rivals." Even with my eyes closed I could still feel his smirk.

"Or..." I started, "we can _try_ to be friends." I could instantly feel his well-worn smirk turn into a genuine smile.

"Hmm...I don't know...I think someone has to say sorry first for hurting my feelings." He started walking towards the Wammy house with me in his arms.

"I'm...I'm sorry...I didn't mean what I said. I just wanted to be alone." I actually started to cry. Luckily he couldn't tell because of the rain that was still rushing down.

"I guess I can forgive my new friend." Again I could feel his smile.

As we got to the door he reached out with his hand and pushed the door open and walked in. Since it was night no one was awake so no one saw them. It would have been hard to explain why I was being carried by my sworn enemy but at that moment I didn't really care. All I could think about was that I had gotten my first real friend.

For a moment I think I fell asleep against his warm body because one second we were in the lobby of the house and then we were inside my room and he was gently laying me on my bed. He sat beside me waiting for me to talk first

"So are we really friends?" I asked cautiously.

"Yep, now and forever." He grinned at me.

"This isn't a dream?" I suddenly felt dead tired and ready to sleep for a week. Not to mention I felt really cold. Stupid rain.

"Nope," he stood up from my bed and walk towards the door. "Get some sleep; we don't want our precious Near getting a cold and missing his school work." He winked at me and walked away to go into his own room to get some rest as well.

I shivered again realizing just how cold it was and took of the soaked clothes and put on warm ones. Silently I slipped into the covers of my bed and curled up into a tight ball. Amazingly, my last thought before I went to sleep was that he had come out to see me, and maybe he cared more about me then I first realized. Sighing at that thought, I just thought about facing the next day.

Anyone care to guess who the mystery person is? And if you do get it should I do another chap from his perspective?


	2. Mello's POV

Where is Near? That was what I was thinking as I crawled into my bed. I couldn't help but feel worried that my arch enemy hadn't gone to bed yet. No, not because I cared about him, but because I was worried that he was planning something to get back at me for ruining his dice city. So naturally I just had to go and make sure he wasn't planning anything that could get him killed, or worse, me. I silently slipped out of bed so I wouldn't wake up Matt who was snoring obnoxiously, not worrying about anything. As I crept out our room, I started walking towards the room that Near usually played with all his toys. I expected to see him working on another city either that or sleeping on the floor because he was too lazy to go to his own room. Unfortunately, he wasn't there.

Sighing, I turned around to go make sure that the little freak didn't go outside because it was practically raining cats and dogs out there. All the teachers would get mad at me and say it was my fault if Near got sick. Oh well. What I never ever told anyone was that I really did care about Near, I just couldn't let them know that or they would think one of two things, one: that I actually _cared _about someone other then myself or two: that I was sucking up to him so that I could finally be first. I mentally slapped myself when I saw that the front door was partially open, signaling that someone was outside in this horrible weather.

"Now what Near, are you trying to kill yourself?" Sighing again, I started casually walking towards the only place that I could think of that he would be. He would probably be by the tree which I usually sat under tormenting him and other little kids that got in my way.

I saw him there, lying under the tree with his hands on his chest looking like an angel that fell from heaven. I felt an unfamiliar jolt in my stomach while I was looking over him. I think Matt said that the feeling was pain. I could have sworn that I wasn't feeling any pain at the moment, but maybe I was feeling mental pain. Pain at seeing this poor boy freezing out here in the pouring rain. Wait…..I didn't just say that ok?

Just as I was beating up myself mentally, I saw his eyes open slightly, but just enough to know he was still alive.

I put on my trademark smirk and said "I see you're still alive. And I thought that the almighty Near wouldn't have had to take such drastic measures." I really hoped he was going to be ok.

"Shut up." He then turned his body so that I couldn't see his face anymore.

"Touchy, just like always." I sat next to him, feeling his rain soaked clothes with my side "Although, that's why everyone _loves _Near. No one could stand to lose their precious Near."

"At least people care about me." I laughed inwardly at his nerve, but I stopped abruptly when I saw a hint of a blush cross his face. Maybe he cared too...

"What are you implying?" I asked back, sharpening my gaze on his small back.

"That no one cares about you, now go away. I want to be alone, that's why I came out here." I could hear the distaste in his voice. I didn't think I annoyed him that much….

"Really? Are you saying that no one cares about me?" I hoped with all my heart that he was lying. I drove my gaze deeper into his fragile body, demanding an answer.

"Yes." That's all he said, just 'Yes'…I guess I really did push him over the edge.

"Are you sure..." I made my voice go softer "That no one cares?"

He turned his body to face me. His usually expressionless façade had a hint of worry mixed in it.

"Well...I guess." He tore his eyes from mine and sat up beside me.

"Not even you?" I carefully wrapped my arm around his shoulders, brought one of his hands around my shoulder, and then put my other arm under his knees. I had to get him inside before he got sick. My new found conscience wouldn't have allowed it.

"Not even me." He whispered in my ear. I could feel his small, wet body shiver against me.

"Well then, I guess since the almighty Nears word is law so we have to just continue at being rivals." My smirk once again found its way onto my face.

"Or..." He started to say, "We can _try_ to be friends." How is that for a conversation flip over? Instantly the smirk I grew accustom to turned into a genuine smile. What was I doing again…..right, I was taking him inside.

"Hmm...I don't know...I think someone has to say sorry first for hurting my feelings" I started walking towards the house.

"I'm...I'm sorry...I didn't mean what I said. I just wanted to be alone." I wasn't sure of it, but it almost looked like he was crying. I couldn't really tell though because it was still raining heavily.

"I guess I can forgive my new friend." Man this smile was addicting. I think he was happy that I accepted his apology because snuggled in closer to my warm, dry body.

I quietly as I could I pushed the door back open with my hand and started walking through the lobby. It must have felt good to be warm because as soon as we got in I heard the steady breathing that meant that Near had fallen asleep. I would have felt really awkward if anyone was to see that I was carrying my arch nemesis to his room.

When I got to his room I opened the door and walked over to his bed. As gently as I could I lowered him onto his bed.

He must have just woken up because I heard his soft voice say "So, are we really friends?"

"Yep, now and forever." A grin plastered my face.

"This isn't a dream?" He looked like he just ran a marathon and was dead tired.

"Nope." I stood up. My job was done here and it was time to go. Just as I reached the door I turned back and said "Get some sleep; we don't want our precious Near getting a cold and missing his school work." And then I surprised myself as I winked at him and walked out the door.

I tiptoed over to Matt's and my room and quickly snuck in. Matt was surprisingly awake.

He turned his head to me and said "So what's up? What's with the late night excursions?"

"Nothing, just saving Near from killing himself." I took off my jacket and slipped under my covers.

"What did he do?" Matt turned, facing me on his elbow looking at me quizzically.

"Nothing much…..I'll tell you tomorrow." I curled into a ball, warming myself up. All I could think about was facing the next day.


	3. Chapter 2: Near's POV

Beginning the Next Day

A/n: I'm sorry if Near and Mello are really OOC in this story but I have placed it in the past just before they learned about L and everything so that even though they hated each other, they still felt like at that time they could look over it and be friends.

Sunlight streamed down to where I was lying. I blearily opened my eyes to a slit to look around at my surroundings. I was surprised to see that instead of being outside underneath the tree, I was lying on my bed in the middle of my white room. I lifted myself up with my elbow and rubbed my eyes to get rid of the leftover sleep. Sitting up on my pillows, I started wondering how I ended up in my room from being outside. I was pretty sure that I didn't sleep walk or someone else would have commented on it. All I could remember is being really cold and then talking about something to someone.

Mello. I opened my eyes wide expecting to see him standing over me with his twisted smirk. That is who came outside and took me, no, _carried_ me inside to my room. I couldn't believe it. I was just some warped dream I had. Just to be certain though, I got out of bed to go ask Mello for the facts.

I slipped out of my bed and pulled the covers back onto the bed. I shuffled over to my closet and took out a clean pair of pyjama bottoms and a white sweat shirt. I carefully removed the ones I was currently wearing and slipped on the fresh pair. I turned around and made my way out the door into the hallway.

It only took me a couple of minutes scuffling along to get to the room that Mello and Matt shared. I was genuinely surprised that I couldn't hear any of the usually gunshots or other miscellaneous video game sounds coming from their room. I timidly ambled up to the door and just as I raised my hand to knock, I heard Mello telling Matt some sort of story. I cautiously sat down to listen for a break in the conversation.

"Ya, so then just after I took him inside he fell asleep. I he couldn't stand the rain like he thought he could. But just as I put him in his bed he woke up and asked me if it was 'Just a dream'. I didn't want to get him upset so I said 'No' and then I left. That is all that happened last night with Near trying to kill himself and all."

"Wow...so it wasn't a dream." I whispered to myself, sitting down beside the door.

"Yah," Matt started, "But why can't I tell anyone?" I could hear the quizzical edge to his voice.

"Because if anyone except for you, Near and me found out, they would think that I'm going soft. And if they think I'm going soft they will think they can get away without being punished." I heard the soft snap of a chocolate bar being broken into pieces.

I sat up and rapped on the door with my knuckles. Automatically they stopped talking, and they waited for a few seconds before I could hear Mello get up off his bed and clomp over to the door. He hesitantly opened the door and looked around above my head before he actually looked down at me.

His first reaction was surprise. Then I saw his eyes quickly shift back into the glare that usually accompanied his smirk, which slide right into that genuine smile I had already grown accustomed to.

He reached a hand down to help me up. "I can't let my new friend stay sitting outside, come in." I stared at him for a couple of seconds before I reached up with my hand to grab his. Right away he pulled my frail body up and looked me in the eye. "Are you strong enough to walk to my bed or do I have to carry you?"

"I think I'm fine..." I looked up at him and gradually started my way into his room. He closed the door behind him.

As I sat down on the couch, Mello walked in and went over whispered something in Matt's ear and he nodded consciously. Then he sat down between me and Matt.

"So, why did you come here Near?" he looked at me with unease.

"I wasn't sure if what I think is true is really true..." I looked down from embarrassment.

"What were you thinking of?" his eyes gave away that he did care...Maybe it wasn't just a dream...

"I..I had this...Well; I think it was a dream at least. It was that you and me..." Once again I looked down with shame. What was I thinking...Mello was just trying to mess with me like usual. Just this time I was falling for his ruse. I figured that I came this far. And also from what I heard them talking about that there was maybe even a slight chance it did happen.

"Go on...I'm listening ...for once." There it was...that smile again.

"I'm not sure, but...arewereallyfriends?" There was a strange feeling flowing through my system. I think Rodger once said it was being nervous.

"Pardon?" He lifted his eyebrow to express his confusion.

"Um..." I swallowed down my fear and took a deep breath, "Are we really..."

"Friends?" He answered my unfinished question, "I would think that after last night that would be set."

"So it did really happen?" For some reason my brain still wouldn't comprehend that it was true.

"No, I wasn't me that carried you inside while you were practically dying of hypothermia, it was the boogie man." Him and Matt started snigger quietly.

"It was you...so that means it really did happen...right?"

"Right." Mello stood up and went to his bed. He flipped onto it and sprawled out on it.

"Good...Because I thought you may have just been pulling on my chains." I pulled my leg close to myself and looked over at Mello.

"No ¸I always do that to my new friends." He closed his eyes, concentrating on some far off place or time.

Matt leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear. "He does it all the time to me" When he leaned back I saw him wink his eye.

"Well, I guess we should go for class soon before someone gets upset." Mello got off his bed and walked back over to where Matt and I were.

"Come on, let's get going." Mello reached his hand out again to help me. "I can't let my friend be late for class."

"Thanks Mello, I didn't know you still cared about me." Matt reached over me to try and get Mello's hand. All Mello did was push the offending hand away and give him a glare.

"I was talking to Near you idiot." Mello looked into my eyes again with the same, careful look. "So do you need help now?"

"Ok then...don't even ask me if that hurt my feelings just pretend I'm not here..." Matt huffed and got up. Just before he left he turned back to look at us and he said "By the way...You're going to be late..."

"lets get going..." Mello went out the door after Matt.

And surprisingly, all I could think about was the beginning of this new day.


	4. Chapter 2: Mello's POV

I opened my eyes and the first thing that I was graced with seeing this morning was Matts obnoxious face drooling all over his pillow, snoring away at ease. Grimacing, I turned around to face the wall of our room so I wouldn't have to look at his excuse for a face. Just before I slipped into dreamland for a second go at a good night's sleep, Matts unbearable snoring suddenly stopped indicating that he was finally awake.

I heard him shuffle in his bed and then I counted in my head for when he would start talking. He usually came around to business when I got to six. Then, just as six passed through my head, he experimentally cleared his throat to try and get my attention.

Yes Matt? What do you want?" I gave him a large fake yawn while I turned to face him to make him believe he woke me up.

"Well, I still waiting for my explanation from last night's excursion." I inwardly sighed after remembering what he was talking about. Near. About what me and _Near_ were doing. Last night. Great...this was going to be really hard to explain, being that me and Near have been enemies since we set eyes on each other.

"Hm...Where do start...Near tried to kill himself, I found him outside, I brought him in, and that's it." I sat up onto my pillows, leaning against them.

"Nothing else happened? You took a bit longer than normal coming back from his room..." Matt raised a questioning eyebrow at me, enquiring my motives.

"Well, ok maybe something else happened...but don't tell anyone k?" I figured that if I had to trust anyone in the house I would have to be Matt.

"Ok I promise!" Matt quickly came over to my bed and sat down beside me, waiting for my explanation.

"Just a sec then...I want to get changed."I silently got off of my bed and went into my personal closet. All my clothes were either black or very dark gray. At least that is what I told myself. Matt said that everything I owned for clothes made him feel depressed when he looked at them. But that's his problem.

I eyed out a pair of black sweats and a comfy dark gray sweater. I pulled off my pyjamas and quickly put on my new clean clothes. I stepped out of the walk-in closet and when back onto the couch that was in front of our TV. As soon as I sat down Matt came over like a homing device.

"So...what happened?" Matt looked almost like an eager puppy. Except most puppies are smaller, have fur all over and slobber everywhere. Well, Matt fits in one of those categories when he's sleeping...

"Well, like I said don't tell anyone...But me and Near..." I looked down from is stare. "Are friends now..." I waited for his reaction that never came.

I looked up to see why Matt wasn't doing anything and I noticed he was barely breathing because he was laughing so hard. He had his face in his hands gasping for breath between huge laughs. It almost looked like he was going to have a heart attack before he finally came back enough so he could breathe normally and talk a bit.

"So..." He paused, getting so air," You're...saying...that you...and...Near...you know...the Near we both know...are...friends?" He started laughing again. I waited for him to get his breath completely back before I started talking again.

"Do you want me to repeat myself?" I reclined against the cool leather of the couch.

"Does that mean it's true?" Matt looked like he was ready to start laughing again.

I let out a sigh. Seriously, he couldn't understand anything. "Yes Matt...It's true. As much as I'm questioning it, it's true." I shut my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at anything anymore.

"What happened to make the legendary rivals suddenly best buddies?" I could hear him recline against the couch.

"Hm...Good question...A bit of rain...some bad feelings and maybe a pinch of jealously on Nears behalf..." I smiled inwardly to myself.

"But what really happened? Obviously Near wouldn't just let _you_ of all peoplepick him up and take him inside. What went on behind the scene?"

"Let me think...well, I went out...he got mad at me...I played it safe and made him guilty..." I stopped midsentence. I could have sworn that I heard someone just outside of our door, but since I didn't hear anything more, I just shook it off.

"What was that about?" Matt seemed to always be asking questions.

"Nothing..." I waited for a few seconds before I continued on with the story.

"Ya, so then just after I took him inside he fell asleep. I he couldn't stand the rain like he thought he could. But just as I put him in his bed he woke up and asked me if it was 'Just a dream'. I didn't want to get him upset so I said 'No' and then I left. That is all that happened last night with Near trying to kill himself and all."

"Yah," Matt started, "But why can't I tell anyone?" Once again, I groaned at his stupidity.

"Because if anyone except for you, Near and me found out, they would think that I'm going soft. And if they think I'm going soft they will think they can get away without being punished." I took out one of my many chocolate bars from my pocket and took a bite.

Just as I was about to break off another piece of chocolate, I heard the unmistakable sound of someone knocking on the door. I lingered for a few seconds just to make sure that it wasn't just in my head, and then Matt gestured to me to go and answer the door. I guess it wasn't my imagination. I hesitantly got up and thumped over to the door. When I looked outside my first guess was that some fool knocked and then ran away. Just before I shut the door, I looked down and saw him. Near was standing up for once, looking up at me. My first reaction was surprise. No way was it really him. Not the one person I really didn't want to see this early in the morning. Then I slid into the smirk/glare mode that I have been perfecting for the last few years. Maybe he would have forgotten about last nights...Encounter for lack of a better word. Before I knew what was happening, the little brat seemed to have changed it into the new found 'genuine' smile.

I reached my hand down to help him up, "I can't let my new friend stay sitting outside, come in." He stared up at me for a few seconds before he reached up with his hand. I hoisted up his small frame easily and I looked into his eyes and commented, "Are you strong enough to walk to my bed or do I have to carry you?"

"I think I'm fine..." He glanced up at me and he slowly walked into mine and Matt's room. I looked out again to make sure no one saw anything, and quickly closed the door.

Just as Near sat down on the couch, I paced up to Matt that was also on the couch and whispered in his ear, "Whatever you do, don't mention anything I told you about Near k? I want him to say something first." Matt nodded his head for a response. I sat between him and Near to make sure Matt kept his promise.

"So, why did you come here Near?" I looked at him with uneasiness.

"I wasn't sure if what I think is true is really true..." He gazed down at his feet in embarrassment.

"What were you thinking of?" I could feel that my eyes were defiantly showing my true emotions. He looked back up to me.

"I..I had this...Well; I think it was a dream at least. It was that you and me..." He looked back down.

"Go on...I'm listening ...for once." I started smiling again.

"I'm not sure, but...arewereallyfriends?" I laughed inwardly. I guess he could be nervous.

"Pardon?" I raised my eyebrow in mock bewilderment.

"Um..." He swallowed hard and took a shaky breath, "Are we really..."

"Friends?" I didn't let him finish, "I would think that after last night that would be set."

"So it did really happen?"

"No, I wasn't me that carried you inside while you were practically dying of hypothermia, it was the boogie man." Matt and I started laughing quietly to ourselves.

"It was you...so that means it really did happen...right?"

"Right." I rose up and went over to my bed. I jumped onto it and sprawled out, getting comfortable.

"Good...Because I thought you may have just been pulling on my chains." He pulled his leg in, sitting in his strange manner.

"No ¸I always do that to my new friends." I closed my eyes.

Even though Matt was 'whispering' I heard him say to Near, "He does it all the time to me"

"Well, I guess we should go for class soon before someone gets upset." I got off my bed and walked back over to where Near and Matt were sitting.

"Come on, let's get going." I reached out with my hand again. "I can't let my friend be late for class."

"Thanks Mello, I didn't know you still cared about me."Matt reached over Near to try and grab my hand. All I did was brush his hand away and give him a death glare.

"I was talking to Near you idiot." I gazed at him with the same, careful look I have grown accustomed to. "So do you need help now?"

"Ok then...don't even ask me if that hurt my feelings just pretend I'm not here..." Matt huffed and got up. Just before he left he turned back to look at us and he said "By the way...You're going to be late..."

"Let's get going..." I walked out the door after Matt.

It was strange because all I could think about was beginning the new day.


	5. Chapter 3: Near's POV

(A/N: Even though this chapter is called "Ending the New Day" it's in the future to when L dies…)

"L is dead."

I sat there, putting my puzzle together silently. I was shocked. No, more than shocked, I was blown away, but I would never show that to anyone so I left my face blank and devoid of any emotion except for boredom.

Mello on the other hand – being Mello- allowed his eyes to nearly bulge out of his face in horror. "Dead?! W-Why?" He said, barely getting the words out. "Y…You mean he was killed by Kira? Is that it?!"

"Most likely," Roger said, lowering his head onto his clasped hands.

I stayed calm, only letting my emotions run wild throughout my mind. I methodically placed each piece into its corresponding place.

Mello then lunged forward, grabbing Roger by his shirt. "He promised he would see Kira dead!! L was killed… Are you sure?!"

"Mello…" Roger started wearily.

After I put the last puzzle piece in its place, I flipped the whole thing over, letting each piece go back to its life of solitude. I thought to myself that it was ironic: Just like a puzzle, people all can unite, creating a beautiful life; separated, they can still live together in the same world, but unless they are all together, they don't mean anything. "If you can't beat the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, you're nothing but a loser."

Mello just looked back at me surprised. I could tell that he thought that my statement was directed at him.

"So then which of us did L…?" Mello said slowly, waiting for Roger to respond. I went back to my puzzle to keep me from getting as upset as Mello. Instead, I concentrated on keeping my face as blank as possible.

Roger looked back at Mello, "Neither of you, yet… He can't choose now that he's dead…" Mello just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "Mello, Near… How about you two work together…?"

I could feel Mello's uncertain glare try to get me to disagree. "Yeah, sounds good." I kept my eyes down on the blank puzzle.

Mello's stare sharpened, "That's impossible Roger… You know Near and I don't get along… We're always competing."

A few moments passed where I could sense that Mello was thinking about the past. Of all the tests that he came second on and all the studying he had to do just to always be second best to me. When I think about it that way, it's no wonder we haven't been friends for a while.

"It's fine, Roger… Near can be L's successor. Unlike me, Near will calmly and unemotionally solve the puzzle." As if on cue, I fit the last piece into its spot, the full blank picture of all the pieces looking up at me. I already knew that if Mello and I were to work together, the picture that our pieces would make would be anything but blank. If anything, it would be grander then even L's.

"I'm going to leave the orphanage too." I could hear the waver in his voice as he tried to keep it monotone.

As Mello started walking toward the door, Roger jumped up and said, "Mello!"

"I'm almost 15 anyways, Roger." Mello forced out, his jaw tightening. "I'll live life my way."

Mello then ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Roger sighed and sat down, muttering to himself. Taking him putting his face into his palms as a sign I could leave, I noiselessly picked up my puzzle with all its pieces and shuffled out of the room.

I knew that Mello wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to Matt and to grab some clothes before he ran off, so I went to the playroom to drop off my puzzle. I knew it would be safe there because no one else in the Wammy house would even think about touching it knowing how much I played with it.

I made my way over to Mello and Matt's room, hoping to catch Mello before he went outside. I knocked on the door; the memories of the past flooding over me in an instant almost making me sit down from the ferocity of them all. Matt answered the door quietly. I could tell he had just been crying a bit because he had his goggles off and his eyes were uncharacteristically shiny. "He just left."

'Figures' I thought, getting ready to go to my room and let my tears finally take over my emotionless face.

"Wait Near," Matt started, "He did say something about going to a place that only Near would know… Do you have any idea what his screwed up head was talking about?" Matt looked at me eagerly, as if looking into my eyes would let him look into my mind so he could find Mello. I always could tell that Matt felt more for Mello then pure friendship.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't know what he was thinking about." I answered honestly. I had no idea what he was…. The tree! Remembering that day, my legs did give out under me.

Matt quickly got beside me to help me up, "Are you ok Near?"

"Yes…" I said shakily." I just feel tired. Maybe I should go to bed…"

Matt frowned at me, "Do you need any help?"

"No, I will be fine… Good night Matt."

"Go.. Good night Near." Matt's voice cracked infinitesimally. It probably pained him to think that he would most likely never be able to say that to Mello ever again.

I scuffled towards my room until Matt shut the door. As soon as it was shut, I started toward the front door. I had to say goodbye to Mello before he left for good.

I pushed the heavy door open slowly as to not make enough noise to notify Roger that a kid was leaving unsupervised. Making my way through the rain and mud puddles, I pushed my way to the lone tree in the field that I had laid under that fateful day.

As soon as I saw his black figure lying on the muddy, wet ground, I allowed myself to smile fractionally. Everything seemed the same, right down to his posture: his hands on his chest and an empty look plastered on his usually emotion filled façade. I silently sat beside him, just waiting.

Without opening his eyes, he mumbled, "I knew you would come out here…Near."

Even though I knew that he would know that it was my lithe form sitting beside his own, it still shocked me to hear him say my name.

I sat there, letting all my thoughts wash over my brain. Mello opened his eyes and turned his head toward me so he was looking directly at me. "You talked to Matt… Didn't you?"

I looked away from his face and down at my feet; his eyes were starting to burn holes into me. They held all the emotions that he normally didn't show full blown towards me: resentment, fury, pure undying rage and something that I couldn't quite place. "Yes, I did." I said blandly, wiggling my toes in my increasingly dirtier socks.

Mello sat up and faced me, glaring at me as if to uncover the secrets of my mystifying mind. "Why don't you ever show emotion anymore?" For once, his question seemed at least semi-plausible.

"Emotion shows weakness. Those who show emotion can never be the best they could possibly be." I mumbled, looking at the ground. I knew that I had hit below the belt, but at the moment I truly didn't care. Mello had been fostering his own inferiority complex and in my mind it was entirely his fault.

Expecting Mello to hit me, it took me by surprise when he started laughing manically. I really hoped no one heard us out here. Mello may be free, but I was still tied to the rules of the Wammy house.

"So you're saying that emotion's a bad thing? What about the Near that I was friends with, ne? Do you think that he was less of a person then the Near now?"

"You're not less of a person…" I started to say, trying to defend myself, but before I could get my full sentence out, he grabbed me roughly by the shoulders and kissed me.

Kissed me.

Through the kiss, I could feel all his normal emotions pass between us: anger, pain, resentment and even the unidentifiable one. Desire.

For most of it, I remained motionless, too shocked to do anything as Mello kissed me hungrily, almost as if he'd been waiting for this for a long time. Just as I started to kiss him back, he broke away, his face blank.

"Don't tell me that feeling emotion makes you less then what you can, and could be." He stood up silently and ran away, leaving me shocked and sitting in the mud.

As soon as he disappeared, I allowed myself to cry, the tears slipping smoothly down my face along with the rain. I sniffed a bit and wiped my face off with my sleeve, noticing just how wet I was. Silently, I made my way back into the orphanage. Passing Matt's –and formerly Mello's- room, I could hear Matt crying faintly.

I went into my room and immediately changed into some dry clothes. Once more, I crawled up onto my bed and curled up, finally letting my emotions take over. I cried for a few minutes, finally reducing into dry sobs. The vigour of all my emotions coming out at once must have made me extremely tired. I fell asleep immediately.

--

I dreamt that Mello never left.

I dreamt that he was still here, and instead of opting to fight against me, against Kira, he grudgingly decided that it would be better to work with me. After we left Roger's office, we both soberly made our way to Mello and Matt's room. Matt heard us walking closer and opened the door wide, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"So what's going on? What did Roger talk to you about? Is L coming?" He had so many questions that he kept on stumbling over them.

"L's never coming back," Mello whispered.

Matt's grin faulted and he looked at Mello and me carefully. "What do you mean?" he said slowly.

"I MEAN HE'S NEVER COMING BACK!! L'S DEAD DAMNIT!! FREAKING KIRA GOT TO HIM FIRST!! GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE I…" Mello immediately crashed. He fell to the floor and grabbed onto Matt's jeans, his body shaking from his unshed tears. Matt instantly kneeled down and hugged Mello, resting his head on Mello's shoulder.

After a few moments, Matt raised his head and looked at me, "It's fine, you can go now, I got it all handled."

"Yes, it's about time I go to my room."

Just as I stood up to leave, Matt said, "Uhh… If you don't mind telling me –since I am third in line- who was chosen? You know, to be the next…"

"We are both going to be filling that role. Roger feels that if we work together, we will triumph over Kira and bring him to the grave that is rightfully his."

Just before I left the room, I heard Matt asked Mello hurriedly if it were true, and heard him mumble yes as a reply.

I made it to my room, and got into my bed, playing with one of my action figures to pass the time until it was a suitable time to go to sleep.

Just before nine o'clock, the door to my room opened suddenly. I couldn't see too well, but I could tell that the person wasn't an adult. As the figure got closer, I realized with a start that it was Mello. My heart gave a little flutter as he sat on the edge of my bed, looking away from me.

We sat like that for about a minute; him sitting on my bed looking at his feet, and me sitting at the head of the bed, my heart pounding in my ears.

"I'm sorry Near… I didn't mean to freak out like that… It's just… It's just so hard to believe that L's actually dead, y'know?" He turned to look at me, his eyes filled with melancholy. He came closer, sitting right beside me. My heart felt like it jumped into my throat.

"I just wanted to be first… It was always a game; see who could get the most attention from L, the best grades… I knew that I could never get to your level, so I always wanted to try. Even though I knew it was futile, I still needed just that extra thing to put me on the top…. I would have never guessed that in the end, I would have the opportunity to actually be L, and not be on top. Instead, I get to work with you Near, and now that I think about it, it's not actually all that bad." Mello reached over and lifted a piece of hair away from my forehead, kissing it softly. It almost seemed that I could actually feel it.

"I'm happy to be L with you." He lied down beside me, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to him. Luckily I was facing away from him or he would have noticed the slight red tinge that was making its way across my cheeks.

I stayed mostly silent, just enjoying the feeling of him holding me as I murmured, "Me too." I felt his body against mine almost as if it was in real life.

--

I woke up the next day early in the morning. The sun was just rising as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. There was a faint impression in the bed beside me, but I paid no heed to it. I figured that it was just my imagination. I slowly got up and made my way out of my room; too upset to even change into clean clothes.

Quietly, I made my way to the playroom to finish my puzzle a few times before the majority of Wammy's house woke up for breakfast. Soon, as I started on it for the fifth time, I decided that it would be better for me to get something to eat and try concentrating on something other than Mello. I stood up and slowly made my way over to the eating hall.

Just as I got near to Matt's room, I heard him coughing loudly and I decided to see what was wrong. I knocked on the door just as he let out another hacking cough so I opened the door. Matt was sitting on his bed, a lit cigarette in his fingers. He was crying a bit as he took another drag on it and coughed some more.

"Matt, why are you smoking?" I asked quietly, afraid of what he might say.

"Because I can…" Matt said shakily, breathing in more of the toxic smoke before coughing it all out again.

"Is it because of…?" I stopped, unable to say Mello's name.

Matt took another drag and finished the cigarette, crying as he threw it out the window, "He knew!" he barely handled to spit out through his tears.

"I don't understand," I stated blandly, trying to keep myself from breaking my emotionless façade.

"Of course you wouldn't," Matt spat out at me, "You wouldn't know anything about emotions, even if it hit you in the face!"

I stared at him for a second and then his cracked. "He knew all along that I loved him! He was my best friend for god's sake! Why did have to leave?! Why did he have to leave me?! He knew I couldn't survive without him; without something or someone to be addicted to!"

"Where did you get them from?" I asked, wondering if maybe he went out and bought them after…

Matt wiped his eyes with his sleeve and put his goggles back on, "We found them after a couple came here looking to adopt one of the lower numbers; still a genius but not smart enough to be missed. The guy left the pack on the couch and Mel..." He stopped, unable to get his name out, "We found them. I jokingly said that I should smoke one, but 'he' said that the only way I could was if he was nowhere near me… I guess this is the farthest he could ever be…" His voice cracked a minuscule amount.

I nodded mutely, not sure what to say.

Matt gave me a fake smile, "Sorry about that… It's not like you would understand how I feel… Right?"

I nodded again, afraid that my voice would give away my own pain. Of course I knew what he felt like. The one person I loved made the rash decision to throw away the past life for a life full of uncertainties and pain.

"Sorry for interrupting you, I'll leave now." I stood up again, and walked out the door as Matt lit another cigarette.

As I made my way back to my room, the truth hit me once again; Mello was never coming back. The next time I saw him –if I ever did again- it would be as enemies. Even though our goal would be the same, we would be on opposite sides.

All I knew for sure was that my life was never going to be the same.

--

Thanks to Lady Alionae for beta-ing this chapter for me!


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